O:

^Yes, I know its weird to start a blog post with such a weird 'face'.
But thats probably how I feel now; or rather, I have no idea what i'm supposed to feel now.
I'm gonna go my religion camp on Thurs, so feel free to spam call me in those three days, as I would be really glad to skip activities just to answer your call.
There are three things I hate in camps :
1] Waking up early
2] I can't sleep at night due to the bed
3] The fact that I have to play games that I don't wanna play. O:

yup, thats how I feel now.

Recently, I kept thinking about my dad. Which was weird, and ... sad.
I really do miss him after all...
And then there are things that kept me thinking more...
which made me feel really empty and hollow...

See, I always thought my father's death was caused by me. Which was impossible as he died of cancer; a spreading kind of disease, meaning to say, it is kind of a long-term thing. I always thought that even though he was tired after exercising that day, I forced him to run one more round. That made him sick and went to the hospital. And then 10 days later he died. So I kept thinking it was my fault. But I was just an 8 year-old kid back then, I wouldn't understand.. and even now, even though I know its impossible, I still think its my fault.

Why I wonder?
But the guilt.. the guilt's still there..

I probably went overboard with games that I don't update now... Well, anyway, now that i'm back with anime, I probably could update more often. Probably..

Today was the history bbq. AND. I. FORGOT. ALL. ABOUT. IT.
woo~ I don't know how to go anyway >.>

Anyway, about the p6 gathering, I realised, I was pretty popular back then, I mean, the fact that I wasn't forgotten; and having a huge group of people send me home because I was afraid; and the weird fact that I keep on talking non-stop for the whole day....
All these could never be done in my secondary school. Sadly, but true.

I never knew I could talk so much. I got so enthusiastic that I began talking to fishes. Which was embarrassing when a male ex-classmate saw it. -.- But anyway, it was kinda fun. Much more than i'll thought of it to be. Everyone was surprised when I told them I'm a loner at school. And the fact that my ranking was so lousy, and I didn't get into pure science...

Well, the truth is that I was pretty smart back then, and I was always in the top ten and the best classes... So.. for me to fall so much back and especially on maths that I used to loved so much....

Oh well, its awful to know that i'm so lousy now.

*Sighs* One more week huh.. and holidays end...
TCH, thinking about it pisses me off. I HOPE SWINE FLU WILL LET US EXTEND OUR HOLIDAYS!!!! BUt I feel sad about the people affected... IDK LAH.

Anyway. I saw Shijie today. Surprisingly he actually studies in Swiss Cottage. He probably didn't know who I am. Just like that person, probably forgotten about me already huh...
And then, because I saw Shijie, I started thinking about the past.. and, I don't know what to think anymore.

Its been 8 years already. So why am I still freaking thinking about it?
That person already...vanished.
Away, from my life..
And after so long...

...why?

I... I don't know anymore.
This sucks.


If I save you... Who would save me?

i'm gonna have tuition at 1pm. Sharp.
And its not gonna be nice.
I mean, he is an old old ah pei, not even nice to look at.
If its a shuai ge I might think it could be nice or smth.. ZZZZ

I had a dream about school. [ because of the fact that i'm gonna have tuition ]
For people who know me, dreams about school is like the worst kind of nightmares I could ever have. And it totally sucks. Holy crap.

And because its at 1pm, I can't play maple. [ due to some quest that says I need to stay online for 3 hrs]. ZZZZ. Apparently, this uncle is famous for getting As for his students at math.
Then i'm like " Ooo, I'm so gonna break that record. I'm gonna be his worst student yet".

And worst of all, all this scary tuition stuff is supposed to start only at next week. NEXT WEEK!
ZZZZ

I never liked tuition.

I finally download maple. And now, they are having sever check until 1pm ; just nice that time, I have to GO TO KARAOKE. zzzzz... NOOOOOO....

Yesterday went maple for like after 1 year of non-mapling, and they're having lots of events. One which includes a beautiful chair that has to be exchanged with a golden maple leaf. I bought a golden maple leaf for like $700,000; and when i exchanged it, guess what I got...

I GOT 100 MAPLE LEAVES.
WTF.
I already have like 1000 leaves. zzzzz

NOOO, I WANT THE CHAIR! >_<

and i'm going karaoke till 7pm....
and i only have 1mill left....
and the event is gonna end....
NOOOOO... PLEASE DONT END OMG OMG T_T
Renge save me~~