so much things to say.. so much things I wanted to do, ... but the moment I see your tired and sian face, I just can't seem to remember the words I wanted to tell you...

I'm sorry I can't make you happy.

I was tired, but I still wanted to get here so much. Wanted to complain to you about this and that,,, but the moment you see me you just give me the sian diao attitude. I just wanted to make you happy..

It doesn't matter how shack I am, I've waited the whole day for this! And yet... you seem not to care.

It doesn't matter how busy I am, How much homework I need to complete, I just want to spend time with you! And yet... you can't even smile for me.

Ever heard of the quote, " Life is not a bed of roses, it is a sea of thorns " ?

Its not true.. life IS a bed of roses....
just that it has thorns in them..

Sometimes if you're lucky, you'll lie on beautiful and nice smelling roses..

Sometimes when you're not, you'll be pierced by the thorns.

The thorns and the roses are always there, and they even grow with you..

The roses get prettier and rosier, .. the thorns get sharper and thicker.

They'll be there. Until you die.

You either die blissfully, in the midst of roses,...

Or you'll get devoured by the thorns, and die in pain.

That's life.

But you don't care right?

ciaossu.

Posted via email from city of boredom

I feel old when I look at my junior's pictures. And fed up with all the other pictures I see.

I mean, what's with the world now? Kids aged 13 or 14 are like going about into relationships. I mean wth is up with that? They still have baby fats and are like shorter than me a few heads...yet they go around hugging one another and think its 'love'.

But that isn't really what i'm pissed off with..
Girls. Of all ages.. especially young ones...

Wtf .They are going around with clothes that show half their breasts and they think its sexy and cool..What are they trying to do, get themselves screwed? I mean ya, i'm being harsh here.. but its their results of doing these things! Why are there so many rapists now?

Its like so depressing to see them like this. They are like letting guys see them like its so easy, and making their worth so low. But they are not fully to be blamed. GUYS are to be blamed. What is with the 'chio' thing they say??

TO THEM, only girls who show their legs and lots of skins are chio. Girls with long hair and lots of make up are chio. Girls who play sports and show off their boobs are chio. AND that causes girls to be who they are now. Look around.. Nowadays girls look all the same. The korean girls in bands to me are like totally same person. I cannot tell the difference.

These plastic girls are teaching girls to be plastic, and make them follow their own footsteps..teaching them stuff that used to be taboo ; plastic surgery is acceptable; you must be DAMN thin to be chio; you must act cute, guys like act cute de; you must wear mini skirts and shorts that are more than 10 cm above your knee, its hot; wearing high heels is very sexy; must wear tight fit clothes that squeezes your body and look hour-glass like; girls with no make up is noob; wear push-up bra....

omg so much wrong things they teach! Where can you find a girl who only cares about their inside and not their outside? They are almost extinct!

Be gone are the days when virtues and manners where the most important.. where girls wear skirts that covers their knee. And the rule to " show as little as possible".

One day I was walking back home and I suddenly saw this girl with big breast, high heels , make up and wear those sexy sexy dress which is above the knee alot[almost see butt]. And is taller than me [cause of heels] Then I was like "woah". then after that I suddenly realise why she look so familiar. SHE IS MY NEIGHBOUR. AROUND 12 , 13 YEARS OLD. OMFG. [ and mind you, she is so much shorter than me, and she is a kid with a flat chest < still young] seriously.. OMFG.

Cannot take it le. the world is so messed up. EVEN FO TANG PPL ALSO SIA! I mean i got prove. In fo tang they like damn guai and all those crap. BUT they outside [look at their facebook pics] LOOK NO DIFFERENT FROM OUTSIDE PPL! One time I went pizza hut to eat pizza and I was bored. [in cck] So i looked down at all the cck ppl outside the mrt. I realised most were wearing mini shorts, so out of boredom I counted how many there were... In the short amount of time that I ate my pizza, I counted more than 100+ girls! I stopped because it was too much to calculate...

And I'm really tired of hearing my cousin talk about how this girl so pretty, that girl so slim, that girl has grown prettier, that girl better than me, that girl got nice hair, that girl so chio etc. THEY ARE ALL FAKE. CAN YOU NOT SEE? WHY ALL THE FAKE PPL ARE THE BEST NOW? WHY DO THEY BECOME IDOLS AND ROLE MODELS FOR GIRLS NOW? WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE LIKE THEM? 

THEY ARE NOTHING BUT BARBIE DOLLS. IN A PLASTIC WORLD.

haiz. grow up. do not be bounded by the materialistic world... or you'll never ever get out of it. And no matter how much you have, you will still think that it is not enough, or NOT GOOD enough. they are poison.

ciaossu

Posted via web from city of boredom

Seriously I try so hard not to get angry.

But things always happen and make me upset.

I hate the way his messages aren't clear. I hate it when they are like not specific and holds unclear meanings. I ask him something and he msgs me back " msg you ltr" . wtf? Can;t you use THAT msg to answer my question instead??

You can stay awake all night till 4 or 5am for another girl. I dont wanna say who.
You can stay awake till 2am for your freaking stupid "mei". NOT JUST ONCE BUT TWICE.

I woke up in pain in the middle of the night at 3. You only msged me less than 10 minutes then you fell asleep. THANKS.

Due to that heartache and the pain, I only fall asleep at 5! AND when you msged me at 7, I WOKE UP IMMEDIATELY.

So why can't you do the same for me?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY WHY WHY WHY!

You could do it for some bitch; your ex, BUT NOT FOR ME?? You know how sad and lost I feel during the 2 hours in pain? I felt like something in my heart broke. Something in me broke.

I don't get it.

And you don't try to make me understand. You just shut up and expect me to 'cool down'. wtf? I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND! HOW CAN I COOL DOWN; HOW CAN I CLEAR THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS, THE DOUBTS, IF YOU DON'T FREAKING EXPLAIN THEM?!!!!!!

Thanks. You make things A LOT BETTER when you just ignore and keep quiet. That is supposed to help us get along?! ITS seriously making me more pissed off.

You just keep making me sad with the ignorings and the meetings and your friends.

WHERE AM I IN YOUR LIFE NOW.

I seriously wanna cry.

Posted via web from city of boredom

tired of chasing after your footsteps... why can't you chase mine for once?

Honestly, is other stuff more important then me? Is it hard to sacrifice a few dollars and a few minutes just for me?? Am I worth that little in your heart that your stupid camp meetings are SO much more precious?! Wtf is with a 13 hour camp planning meeting anyway? Dumb shit. IF this carry on, will we EVEN get to see each other at all? Army, meeting, army. Even when you're with me you spend most of the time doing proposals for the meeting.. Am I supposed to be not angry? Where am I in your heart now?? Last place? Do I even have a place anymore? ...
Come back to me.. I really need you.. If you're always gone, then isn't it the same as if we've never been together before?
....

Anyway Hitman Reborn really rocks at the back. Getting to see more of the cool and hot tsuna. Not to mention Mokudo and 25 years old Lambo is quite impressive too!

But the 5 year old lambo really sucks. So noisy and irritating. If I had a cow like that in my house, I'll throw him away. HAHA.

Oh and i'm going to see Hibari soon! HEHE at episode 53 le! So fast.

But seriously the fillers are so damn boring... GIMME MORE ACTION PLEASE.

And i'm so loving hunter x hunter manga. Rocks like crazy. Old man died and Gon become like years stronger. Of course killua is as cool as ever with his electrical aura.

Tired le..
I guess that's all.
Ciaossu

Posted via web from city of boredom

Is it impossible for two people to just love and get together? To be forever happy and don't quarrel? To love till death do them part?

Nope. Its totally possible.

Just, not in this world.

If this world only consist of you and your partner alone, it is possible. Like adam and eve..
However our world consists of so much, .. too much people.
Like how romeo and juliet will end up dead, so would love. Why can't they love? Because of their family. Therefore, it is possible to conclude that love is only perfect when it is only about two people.

If he has no previous love, no woman around him, there would be no jealousy; no quarrel; no conflict. You don't have to worry about him cheating on you while you're asleep, or worry about him when he goes out with girls [actually worry all the time, not just when he goes out], You don't have to care about regrets for there will not be any regrets of not watching him well enough or anything.

If he has no friends, his heart will only belong to you, and there will be plenty of time for you guys to spend together, no need to worry about him going out partying or playing when you're at home being worried and biting your nails. You don't even need to impress his friends.

If he has no family, you need not worry about status, money, your own family, and all the other shits. You don't even have to please and try to look nice for his parents. You don't have to care whether you are a good match, whether there's a future with him. You can just simply be with him because you love him.

If he has no work, no school, no religion, no race, no blood difference, whatever nonsense... Then there is simply nothing to care or worry about.

There will be no sin of pride, envy, greed, lust, gluttony, sloth or even wrath, for there is nothing to be angry about!

Yes, this would be the perfect paradise for love.

But please. Don't indulge in it too much. Its all just fantasy. Love is simple, innocent and pure. But the existence of mankind has made it complex and all messed up with murder, rape, kidnapping and whatever human can think of.

I wished I could love him without the rest of the world.
Hope gives disappointment.
Promises are always broken.

If love is blind, then I must be not only blind, but lose all my five senses as well. Maybe then I'll be happier, because my love has returned to its pureless, selfless form. I can totally shut off from the world.

I am not a guru when it comes to love, but I know, in reality, everything that was once possible is made impossible. This is a trade. For technology, science, and all the improvements, we must lose what we originally have, including morals, love, emotions......

One day we will lose ourselves. We will lose earth. We will lose our lives.
Maybe when that day comes... will everything return to its original form.

I wished he knew how much I love him.
And not be so focused to the world.
He'd rather choose the reality then fantasy.
He'd rather choose them then me.
After all i'm just one small thing.

Why give up the forest for a tiny seedling?
Why give up the ocean of fishes for a tiny fish egg?

If i were him, I probably won't even choose me.

hmm.. getting emo.. so..
ciaossu.

Posted via web from city of boredom

okay i'm so bored so i'm gonna list the things i wanna do in the holidays:

1] watch movies :
 > Toy Story 3 3D
> Killers
> Karate kid & shrek [maybe]

2] Celebrate birthday.
> hey i'm sixteen okay, so its supposed to be a bigger celebration then just with family and at home.

3] Play and slack as much as I can.
> okay,  so I do this everyday; not just holidays...

4] 4th month anniversary.
> Which he is not free to spend with me :((

5] Upload pictures that were never uploaded.
> like [[ Stuff we do in school ]]
> & [[ pictures long forgotten]]
> or [[ mumday / earthday ]]
>and a bunch of other nonsense.

6]Do HW**
> PLEASE REMIND ME TO DO IT.
> even though I confirm will ignore you and keep slacking, BUT PLEASE do not give up trying to persuade me. :( I really need people to keep me going. LOTS OF HW OMG. [ i confirm 2 days before then start =.=]

7] STUDY**
> OI I O'LEVEL LIAO LA.
> Mid year 7 subjects I fail 4 sia. like that o' levels will fail.
> must persuade me like point 6. TY

8] Try not to get bored.
> even though I already bored.
> anything interesting to keep me going?

9] Go somewhere interesting
> idk. no comments.

10] Laugh at other people
> ...

I think thats all. Will edit if something pops up in my mind. What's your list to do for holidays?
[ eh, if all about studying and hw hw..., don't tell me.  I don't wanna know hor. HOLIDAY LEH! ]
hahas. cya.

Ciaossu

Posted via web from city of boredom