As if having nightmares and bad days weren't bad enough. Now I can't stop crying.


Sept 6.

Mum caned me first time in years. Truthfully, it didn’t hurt as much as my heart did. But the redness in my leg shows that it does hurt…around eight times in the same spot… hell, how do I go school tml…

Seriously, I don’t know what I did wrong. I swear I’m one of the good kids compared to the world.. Just that I play the computer. Whats wrong with playing the computer for the whole day on SATURDAY? ITS SATURDAY! AND I didn’t even played at night yesterday! Which kid doesn’t play computer for more than 2hrs on Saturday? I mean if they’ve got nothing to do?!
If anyone who plays computer for more than 2hrs is addicted, THEN TELL ME SOMEONE WHO AIN'T ADDICTED.

Then you know what she said just now? She asked me to finish my holidays homework before I can on the computer. WTF? HOLIDAY HOMEWORK? ITS NOT EVEN MONDAY! ITS SUNDAY, AND YOU WANT ME TO FINISH ALL MY HOLIDAY HOMEOWRK? IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE?!

Then I quarreled with her. IT REALLY WAS UNREASONABLE. I MEAN, I PASSED MY CA2 WITH ALL EITHER A OR Bs, NO Cs AT ALL! THEN SHE STILL CAN TALK NONSENSE ABOUT MY CHINESE GETTING LOWER… WTF DOES SHE WANT? WTF DOES SHE KNOW? AND HOW TO FINISH ALL MY HOMEWORK? I’m not even a bad kid! All I do is stay at home and play computer! I finish my homework on time, no teacher ever complains about me, I passed my exams, I already fulfilled all the criteria that I’m supposed to fulfill, and even better, I’m not those kinda bad kids that smokes , or hang out until 4 pm at night, AND I’m not those kind that IS REALLY addicted to computer, up to the point where they play from 5am to 2am!

So whats the problem? I DON’T SEE A REASON TO BE SCOLDED? NEITHER AM I A BAD KID! ITS SO DAMN UNREASONABLE! I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT A COMPUTER! THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE! ITS HER! ALL I wanted to do was to relax and on the computer for a while, and I got scolded so much? SHE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL GO CRAZY AND ANGRY? I WILL TOO! So I threw a cup on the floor, and it broke. I WAS REALLY ANGRY!

Then she came back with a cane and caned me. Seriously, it didn’t hurt as much as I remembered.

Honestly, if I go on getting scolded and crying every single day, I might go crazy AND blind. Wth. My eyes hurt, and I can’t breathe. Stupid asthma.


The cup wasn’t anything. I was so angry, I thought I could scratch my skin off. Thank god I don’t have long nails.

Freak. I have a bad temper, BUT I have good tolerance level, so normally, and outside, you won’t even get much of a chance to see me angry. At most, I’ll just shut up and calm myself down. But she doesn’t give me a chance to. So my temper roars up. ITS NOT EASY TO CALM IT BACK OKAY. In fact, my anger’s so scary I scare myself. Honestly, I wish she would notice this point and leave me alone.

In her eyes, I’m always the inferior one. The bad one. All the rest of the kids in this world are good. All except me. Hell, I give up.


In the end, nothing has changed.