i'm sorry my darling.
im sorry my love.

maybe last year I needed you.
I was lost, lonely and very anti-society.
I hated this world.
And then I met you,
you brought light into my world.

maybe last year you needed me,
you needed someone to love you and care for you the way I do
to show you that someone out there still loves you
Still wants to spend their entire life with you
And then you met me
I showed and showered you with great love

but

maybe this year he needed me
he is lost, and didn't cared about the world.
he didn't had the right people.
He needed a good person to bring him back on track,
to vegetarian,
to continue joining.
And then he met me,
someone he unexpectly fell in love with
someone he suddenly cared about
someone that had a boyfriend

maybe this year i needed him
I am happy,
contented,
but felt insecure and couldn't trust you any longer
because you lied
because you broke the ultimate promise
and you left me.
So even though you're back,
half of my love isn't here.
because its still crying, still back where you left it.
I tried to forget
I tried to believe.
I'm a stupid girl.
And then I met him,
one who loves me without asking for anything in return
one who cares and concerns and is sensitive to my feelings
one who didn't wanted to break us up
one who wanted to leave so we'll still be together.
how can i hurt such a sweet thing?
this is the first time i felt that i don't need to love a lot to be loved.

maybe this year you didn't needed me
you have tons of friends that keep you happy
you have already abandoned me once and felt nothing much
you probably won't even try to chase after me
you might be tired of my bad points
even without me you'll do great,
because girls queue up for you
probably girls better than me.

but my love,
i really love you.
i don't know what to do.
but i cant trust you
i cant believe you
i feel insecure with you.

if you're okay with all my insecurities and doubt,
maybe we'll do okay..
because i still love you.
i'm not sure if i'll ever love him,
but for now i still love you a lot.
you and him are not the same
so please do not feel sorry or compare.
because you're my first love.

My first love.
my first kiss.
my first hug.
my first soulmate.

and you're irreplaceable.

But maybe god thinks he needs me more.

Posted via email from city of boredom